8 Ways to Ask (and Not Ask) About Why I Look Different
By Lisa Goodman-Helfand
A friend recently asked me, “Lisa, how do you want people to approach the fact that you look different? What exactly would you like people to do or say when they meet you and are interested in learning about your disease (scleroderma)?” I’ve gotta say, it’s a stumper! Humans are curious creatures. It’s natural and healthy to wonder why people vary from the norm either in appearance or behavior.
I will attempt to answer this tricky question, but before I do, I must first give you a sampling of how I do not want people to approach the topic with me.
1. Blurting out, “What’s wrong with you?” or spontaneously asking, “Why are you sooooo skinny?”
Don’t go up to strangers and ask them personal questions about their appearance. It’s weird when some random patron at the grocery store stares at my splotchy, mangled hands as we examine the produce and says, “What’s wrong with your hands?” This person is not invested in my well-being. Their inquiry is blunt and off-putting. My fantasy response is, “I’m allergic to weird strangers who ask me intrusive questions.”
2. Exclaiming, “Congratulations! Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”
I have super skinny arms and legs but a disproportionally large mid-section. Possible contributing factors are: the aftermath of eight major abdominal surgeries, distention caused by scleroderma, my ostomy bag inflating, or my affinity for donuts and total lack of willpower.
3. Asking, “Are you a witch?”
4. Pretending to not notice I look different when meeting me, but determined not to pursue a friendship with me because I’m weird-looking...
Get the full story at The Mighty.
http://themighty.com/2015/06/8-ways-to-ask-and-not-ask-about-why-i-look-different/
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